Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD).

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Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) is a condition that results from chronic or long-term exposure to emotional trauma over which a victim has little or no control and from which there is little or no hope of escape, such as in cases of:

  • domestic emotional, physical or sexual abuse
  • childhood emotional, physical or sexual abuse
  • entrapment or kidnapping.
  • slavery or enforced labour.
  • long-term imprisonment and torture
  • repeated violations of personal boundaries.
  • long-term objectification.
  • exposure to gaslighting & false accusations
  • long-term exposure to inconsistent, push-pull, splitting or alternating raging & hoovering behaviours.
  • long-term taking care of mentally ill or chronically sick family members.
  • long-term exposure to crisis conditions.

When people have been trapped in a situation over which they had little or no control at the beginning, middle or end, they can carry an intense sense of dread even after that situation is removed. This is because they know how bad things can possibly be. And they know that it could possibly happen again. And they know that if it ever does happen again, it might be worse than before.

C-PTSD – What it Feels Like:

People who suffer from C-PTSD may feel un-centred and shaky as if they are likely to have an embarrassing emotional breakdown or burst into tears at any moment. They may feel unloved – or that nothing they can accomplish is ever going to be “good enough” for others.

People who suffer from C-PTSD may feel compelled to get away from others and be by themselves so that no-one will witness what may come next. They may feel afraid to form close friendships to prevent possible loss should another catastrophe strike.

People who suffer from C-PTSD may feel that everything is just about to go “out the window” and that they will not be able to handle even the simplest task. They may be too distracted by what is going on at home to focus on being successful at school or in the workplace.

Read more at…Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD)

Coping During Trauma Moments.

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“The truth is, what feels like your crucifixion doesn’t have any quick fixes, only slow movements in a never-ending dance.

Time or words alone can’t always soothe the wounds that can’t be put into language.

Trauma can speak in a foreign tongue and weave its code into every cell – this is the type of pain where the body and the mind both keep the score.

Sometimes the only band-aids you have are platitudes mixed with the raw truth.

Those days where you feel like you won’t survive and the days where you learn you can, and all the beautifully horrific moments in between.”

An edited excerpt from; Read This During The Worst Moments Of Your Life | Thought Catalogue

How ‘The Silent Treatment’ And Stonewalling Are Abusive.

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Has someone close to you ever ignored you when you tried to have an important discussion or addressed something significant with them? Have you ever been silenced by a toxic person’s silent treatment? You may have experienced what is known as “stonewalling.”

According to researcher Dr. Gottesman, there are “four men of the apocalypse” or four communication styles in a relationship that can predict its inevitable demise. These are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.

Stonewalling is when a person withdraws from a conversation or discussion and refuses to address your concerns.

Usually, stonewalling and the silent treatment go hand in hand. After the victim has been stonewalled, the other person is treated to a form of silence that is deafening. Yet the silent treatment can also occur without warning or stonewalling as well.

“In relationships, stonewalling is the emotional equivalent to cutting off someone’s oxygen.  The emotional detachment inherent to stonewalling is a form of abandonment and the effect that it has on a spouse is dramatic.

The initial feelings of terror – which are usually below the water line of awareness – are typically followed by secondary feelings of anger and, then, aggressive efforts to get some emotional reaction – any emotional reaction – even a negative one.  And when these efforts fail, the internal response for your spouse is predictable.  He doesn’t care.  He doesn’t love me.  He’s left me.” – Jeffrey J. Pipe, Psy.D, Stonewalling vs. Empathy

The silent treatment and stonewalling can have actual effects on the brain. Research indicates that such behaviours are a form of ostracism which activates the anterior cingulate cortex, the same part of the brain that detects physical pain.

The silent treatment and stonewalling can have actual effects on the brain. Research indicates that such behaviours are a form of ostracism which activates the anterior cingulate cortex, the same part of the brain that detects physical pain.

Edited From Original Source:

Like No Lover Ever Did.

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“Windows slammed shut; curtains drawn together, the pounding chaos of the world retreats into out-there.

Daggers of past pain blocked by layers of glass and fabric. The land of crazy-making finally dulled to a harmless roar.

Silly yammering from the TV spills out ironic normalcy.

A blanket’s softness wraps around, warming her like no lover ever did.

Dimmed lights issue a calm that settles, easing her pounding heart.

Sweet baby offers comfort, love, and purrs of content and companionship.

The time finally slows down to a repetitive, peaceful, tic; no longer spinning out of control.”

-©2018itstimetogethonest.com

The Sins You Didn’t Commit.

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“One day, when it stops.

When you finally feel safe,
it will all fall apart.

Screaming for attention,
it rises like bile.

Crushing your mind,
your strength,
your heart.

Memories previously sweet,
erupt into brutalities.

Your life, perceived reality,
shatter into gaslit deceits.

Next, comes the dark.
Bringing self-hate, shame,
and guilt.

For all the sins you didn’t commit.”

-(c) 2018 itstimetogethonest.com

Toxic Relationships, Red Flags, And Self-Care.

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Healthy relationships don’t come with handbooks, and there are no courses or tests to make sure that everyone is fit.

Plus, sadly, many of us were brought up in dysfunctional environments and end up repeating negative patterns taught to us at a young age. Because of this we often pick the wrong people to share our lives with and end up in toxic relationships.

Read moreToxic Relationships, Red Flags, And Self-Care.

Becoming Unstoppable

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Perhaps the saddest thing about toxic relationships and long-term interactions with toxic people is that the victim will eventually believe that they are a victim with no way out.

Plus, they often end up gaslighting themselves because they ‘ve adapted to questioning themselves constantly as their default mindset.

“Re-learning healthy self-esteem and emotional strength is a long and difficult process. But you will be unstoppable when you succeed.”