This Is How You Will Hurt – Nikita Gill

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This is how you will hurt.

It will be a sunny day and you are still in your room, your curtains drawn to keep the light out, your body shaking under a blanket that just won’t warm you up, but then again, you haven’t felt warm since the day it happened. It is like he took every bit of warmth from your soul, and the only way you will ever feel warm again is if the entire sun grew inside of you.

Your mother is knocking on the door. You pretend you don’t hear her. Your greatest deception since it happened is trying so hard to be normal, and today you do not have the energy for it.

Today, you are going to stare into the darkest corner of your room and wonder why the darkness doesn’t do you a favour and swallow you whole.

read more at Trauma: This Is How You Will Hurt | Thought Catalog

The Sins You Didn’t Commit.

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“One day, when it stops.

When you finally feel safe,
it will all fall apart.

Screaming for attention,
it rises like bile.

Crushing your mind,
your strength,
your heart.

Memories previously sweet,
erupt into brutalities.

Your life, perceived reality,
shatter into gaslit deceits.

Next, comes the dark.
Bringing self-hate, shame,
and guilt.

For all the sins you didn’t commit.”

-(c) 2018 itstimetogethonest.com

Overwhelmingness.

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The sometimes, seemingly out of the blue, it’s as if I start to shut down. Maybe because everything has become too much again, I don’t know why. But a completely overwhelming coma-like fog washes over and through me. I can’t get up, sit up, remember things, think straight, or do anything. I feel myself sucked into this state, unable to fight it no matter how hard I try. It’s horrible and horrifying. It’s my life with PTSD. 

-itstimetogethonest.com 2018

Edited and printed by permission from original author.

How Strong You Are.

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You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. – Bob Marley.

Perhaps You Don’t Know.

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“Perhaps you don’t know that inside me is an angry tiger clawing and snarling it’s way up through every nerve and fibre.
Perhaps you don’t know that the weight of the air on my skin feels like a storm thundering across me like a disease.
Perhaps you don’t know that each day’s sameness brings desperation that knows no bounds.
Perhaps you don’t know that my name is anxiety and although I may look like a person, I’m not.
I’m pain.” – itstimetogethonest 2018

Toxic Is Toxic – Quote

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“It doesn’t matter who they are, toxic. Do yourself a favour and walk away.”

-itstimetogethonest.com2018