How ‘The Silent Treatment’ And Stonewalling Are Abusive.

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Has someone close to you ever ignored you when you tried to have an important discussion or addressed something significant with them? Have you ever been silenced by a toxic person’s silent treatment? You may have experienced what is known as “stonewalling.”

According to researcher Dr. Gottesman, there are “four men of the apocalypse” or four communication styles in a relationship that can predict its inevitable demise. These are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.

Stonewalling is when a person withdraws from a conversation or discussion and refuses to address your concerns.

Usually, stonewalling and the silent treatment go hand in hand. After the victim has been stonewalled, the other person is treated to a form of silence that is deafening. Yet the silent treatment can also occur without warning or stonewalling as well.

“In relationships, stonewalling is the emotional equivalent to cutting off someone’s oxygen.  The emotional detachment inherent to stonewalling is a form of abandonment and the effect that it has on a spouse is dramatic.

The initial feelings of terror – which are usually below the water line of awareness – are typically followed by secondary feelings of anger and, then, aggressive efforts to get some emotional reaction – any emotional reaction – even a negative one.  And when these efforts fail, the internal response for your spouse is predictable.  He doesn’t care.  He doesn’t love me.  He’s left me.” – Jeffrey J. Pipe, Psy.D, Stonewalling vs. Empathy

The silent treatment and stonewalling can have actual effects on the brain. Research indicates that such behaviours are a form of ostracism which activates the anterior cingulate cortex, the same part of the brain that detects physical pain.

The silent treatment and stonewalling can have actual effects on the brain. Research indicates that such behaviours are a form of ostracism which activates the anterior cingulate cortex, the same part of the brain that detects physical pain.

Edited From Original Source:

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What Is PTSD And C-PTSD In Real Life?

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“Normally when we think about “PTSD,” our minds jump to those who’ve been in combat. While it is certainly an issue for those who’ve been in real-life war zones, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Complex PTSD aren’t just exclusive to war veterans. In fact, many survivors of childhood emotional neglect, physical or emotional abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault and rape can suffer from the symptoms of PTSD or Complex PTSD if they endured long-standing, ongoing and inescapable trauma.

These individuals face combat and battle in invisible war zones that are nonetheless traumatic and potentially damaging. According to the National Center for PTSD, about 8 million people can develop PTSD every year and women are twice as likely than men to experience these symptoms.”

read more at PTSD And Complex PTSD: What Happens When You’ve Lived In A Psychological War Zone | Thought Catalog

This Is How You Will Hurt – Nikita Gill

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This is how you will hurt.

It will be a sunny day and you are still in your room, your curtains drawn to keep the light out, your body shaking under a blanket that just won’t warm you up, but then again, you haven’t felt warm since the day it happened. It is like he took every bit of warmth from your soul, and the only way you will ever feel warm again is if the entire sun grew inside of you.

Your mother is knocking on the door. You pretend you don’t hear her. Your greatest deception since it happened is trying so hard to be normal, and today you do not have the energy for it.

Today, you are going to stare into the darkest corner of your room and wonder why the darkness doesn’t do you a favour and swallow you whole.

read more at Trauma: This Is How You Will Hurt | Thought Catalog

Becoming Unstoppable

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Perhaps the saddest thing about toxic relationships and long-term interactions with toxic people is that the victim will eventually believe that they are a victim with no way out.

Plus, they often end up gaslighting themselves because they ‘ve adapted to questioning themselves constantly as their default mindset.

“Re-learning healthy self-esteem and emotional strength is a long and difficult process. But you will be unstoppable when you succeed.”

When To Walk Away, Quotes

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“Sometimes you need to walk away. Not to make someone else realize how worthy you are. But for YOU to understand and acknowledge your own self-worth.”

 

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“Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value, but because we finally realize our own.”

 

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“One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder.”

 

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You see a person’s true colors when you are no longer beneficial to their life.”

 

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“I’m learning how to walk away from situations or people who threaten my peace of mind, self-respect, or self-worth.”

 

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“There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough.”

 

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“People will take from you until there’s no more of you left.”

 

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“If I could go back to the day we met, I would turn around and walk away.”

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“Have a nice life. I’m done trying to be in it.”

 

 

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“No matter how badly people treat you, never drop down to their level. Just know you’re better and walk away.”