How To Cope During The Worst Moments Of Your Life.

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“Experiencing overwhelming pain doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to sketch new thoughts or paint new memories because pain can be as transformative as the art on a torn canvas.

It can make you appreciate all the small joys you’d never think to relish.

You are forced to remember the things you took for granted, the ones that appeared minuscule, and realize their larger-than-life roles in the grand scheme of things.”

Read more at: Read This During The Worst Moments Of Your Life | ThoughtCatalogue

Coping During Trauma Moments.

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“The truth is, what feels like your crucifixion doesn’t have any quick fixes, only slow movements in a never-ending dance.

Time or words alone can’t always soothe the wounds that can’t be put into language.

Trauma can speak in a foreign tongue and weave its code into every cell – this is the type of pain where the body and the mind both keep the score.

Sometimes the only band-aids you have are platitudes mixed with the raw truth.

Those days where you feel like you won’t survive and the days where you learn you can, and all the beautifully horrific moments in between.”

An edited excerpt from; Read This During The Worst Moments Of Your Life | Thought Catalogue

To All Emotionally Women Broken From An Abusive Relationship. – Shahida Arabi.

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“This is for you, the one whose soul is weary, whose heart is battered, whose wounds may be invisible but just as devastating. The one who is tired of the endless, nonsensical arguments. The one is exhausted from trying to salvage something that is slowly killing her day in and day out. I want you to remember your worth and purpose in this world. I want you to reawaken your power.

I want you to know that it is okay to leave the people who are harming you. It is okay to not be okay for a while. It’s okay to take the time to be alone and rebuild the life you seek.

I want you to savor the beauty of your solitude, no matter what your relationship status. I want you to be a fighter in a world that teaches women they are only valuable if they are chosen by a man. I want you to inspire those around you by speaking so gently and lovingly to yourself that the cruelty and judgment of others melts away into the distance. I want all your naysayers to be overshadowed by the wildness of your strength. I want you to be the warrior woman they never saw coming.”

read more at For All The Women Broken By An Emotionally Abusive Relationship | Thought Catalog

How ‘The Silent Treatment’ And Stonewalling Are Abusive.

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Has someone close to you ever ignored you when you tried to have an important discussion or addressed something significant with them? Have you ever been silenced by a toxic person’s silent treatment? You may have experienced what is known as “stonewalling.”

According to researcher Dr. Gottesman, there are “four men of the apocalypse” or four communication styles in a relationship that can predict its inevitable demise. These are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.

Stonewalling is when a person withdraws from a conversation or discussion and refuses to address your concerns.

Usually, stonewalling and the silent treatment go hand in hand. After the victim has been stonewalled, the other person is treated to a form of silence that is deafening. Yet the silent treatment can also occur without warning or stonewalling as well.

“In relationships, stonewalling is the emotional equivalent to cutting off someone’s oxygen.  The emotional detachment inherent to stonewalling is a form of abandonment and the effect that it has on a spouse is dramatic.

The initial feelings of terror – which are usually below the water line of awareness – are typically followed by secondary feelings of anger and, then, aggressive efforts to get some emotional reaction – any emotional reaction – even a negative one.  And when these efforts fail, the internal response for your spouse is predictable.  He doesn’t care.  He doesn’t love me.  He’s left me.” – Jeffrey J. Pipe, Psy.D, Stonewalling vs. Empathy

The silent treatment and stonewalling can have actual effects on the brain. Research indicates that such behaviours are a form of ostracism which activates the anterior cingulate cortex, the same part of the brain that detects physical pain.

The silent treatment and stonewalling can have actual effects on the brain. Research indicates that such behaviours are a form of ostracism which activates the anterior cingulate cortex, the same part of the brain that detects physical pain.

Edited From Original Source:

What Is PTSD And C-PTSD In Real Life?

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“Normally when we think about “PTSD,” our minds jump to those who’ve been in combat. While it is certainly an issue for those who’ve been in real-life war zones, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Complex PTSD aren’t just exclusive to war veterans. In fact, many survivors of childhood emotional neglect, physical or emotional abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault and rape can suffer from the symptoms of PTSD or Complex PTSD if they endured long-standing, ongoing and inescapable trauma.

These individuals face combat and battle in invisible war zones that are nonetheless traumatic and potentially damaging. According to the National Center for PTSD, about 8 million people can develop PTSD every year and women are twice as likely than men to experience these symptoms.”

read more at PTSD And Complex PTSD: What Happens When You’ve Lived In A Psychological War Zone | Thought Catalog

This Is How You Will Hurt – Nikita Gill

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This is how you will hurt.

It will be a sunny day and you are still in your room, your curtains drawn to keep the light out, your body shaking under a blanket that just won’t warm you up, but then again, you haven’t felt warm since the day it happened. It is like he took every bit of warmth from your soul, and the only way you will ever feel warm again is if the entire sun grew inside of you.

Your mother is knocking on the door. You pretend you don’t hear her. Your greatest deception since it happened is trying so hard to be normal, and today you do not have the energy for it.

Today, you are going to stare into the darkest corner of your room and wonder why the darkness doesn’t do you a favour and swallow you whole.

read more at Trauma: This Is How You Will Hurt | Thought Catalog

Toxic Relationships, Red Flags, And Self-Care.

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Healthy relationships don’t come with handbooks, and there are no courses or tests to make sure that everyone is fit.

Plus, sadly, many of us were brought up in dysfunctional environments and end up repeating negative patterns taught to us at a young age. Because of this we often pick the wrong people to share our lives with and end up in toxic relationships.

Read moreToxic Relationships, Red Flags, And Self-Care.

Overwhelmingness.

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The sometimes, seemingly out of the blue, it’s as if I start to shut down. Maybe because everything has become too much again, I don’t know why. But a completely overwhelming coma-like fog washes over and through me. I can’t get up, sit up, remember things, think straight, or do anything. I feel myself sucked into this state, unable to fight it no matter how hard I try. It’s horrible and horrifying. It’s my life with PTSD. 

-itstimetogethonest.com 2018

Edited and printed by permission from original author.