“Windows slammed shut; curtains drawn together, the pounding chaos of the world retreats into out-there.
Daggers of past pain blocked by layers of glass and fabric. The land of crazy-making finally dulled to a harmless roar.
Silly yammering from the TV spills out ironic normalcy.
A blanket’s softness wraps around, warming her like no lover ever did.
Dimmed lights issue a calm that settles, easing her pounding heart.
Sweet baby offers comfort, love, and purrs of content and companionship.
The time finally slows down to a repetitive, peaceful, tic; no longer spinning out of control.”
“One day, when it stops.
When you finally feel safe,
it will all fall apart.
Screaming for attention,
it rises like bile.
Crushing your mind,
Memories previously sweet,
erupt into brutalities.
Your life, perceived reality,
shatter into gaslit deceits.
Next, comes the dark.
Bringing self-hate, shame,
For all the sins you didn’t commit.”
-(c) 2018 itstimetogethonest.com
Toxic and traumatic relationships change us. You can or usually will start to adopt warped and negative thoughts and feelings. It’s not your fault!
Continue reading “Things That Happen Because Of Toxic Relationships.”
Awareness of narcissistic abuse and its effects is quickly becoming more and more widespread. As the survivor community grows online in blogs, forums, Instagram pages, Facebook communities and across real-life communities, the number of “healers” and “gurus” who purport to help survivors on their journey continues to expand as well.
While there are many incredible therapists, coaches, spiritual guides, authors, bloggers and advocates in a number of different fields who can provide a great deal of rich wisdom to the survivor community, there are also predators who mask themselves as healers in order to gain narcissistic supply (praise, admiration and/or resources).
When consulting these resources, it is important to distinguish between authentic advocates who genuinely want to help and those who are looking to exploit survivors at their most vulnerable stage of the healing journey.
Things To Look Out For And Avoid;
-They engage in monopolization and sabotage of any perceived competitors.
-They charge excessive costs in exchange for minimum value.
-They exhibit a “their way or the highway” philosophy rather than the idea that “it takes a village.”
-They participate in unethical practices and violation of boundaries.
-They provide false hope and egregiously improbable promises.
Edited from: 5 Signs You’re Dealing with a Dangerous Narcissistic “Healer” or Guru | Recovering from a Narcissist by Shahida Arabi, M.A.
Perhaps the saddest thing about toxic relationships and long-term interactions with toxic people is that the victim will eventually believe that they are a victim with no way out.
Plus, they often end up gaslighting themselves because they ‘ve adapted to questioning themselves constantly as their default mindset.
“Re-learning healthy self-esteem and emotional strength is a long and difficult process. But you will be unstoppable when you succeed.”